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im_a_literal_shorty
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Name: Aparna
Location: ontario, Fiji
Birthday: 10/31/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: i love movies with a passion, reading, chillin with frends, listening to music (anything but indie pop), coloring with crayons, baking, shopping, swimming, painting my toenails, singing in the shower, chatting online, dancin alone in my room, and day dreaming
Expertise: watching movies, arguing w/ anyone, procrastinating, sleeping, eating and breathing.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  eechakamao
Member Since:
6/14/2004
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| i am going to ponder.
is it better to lie to someone, a white lie, a harmless lie, than to admit something that you think they may not like, or that would make the whole situation awkward? that sentence is too long and not fun to read so here are examples.
say someone is in town and you don't want to see them or you don't want them to stay with you. for whatever reason- you're holding an old grudge, you're ridiculously busy, you have a new partner and don't want to answer questions, etc. you have two options- tell this person the truth or tell a white lie so that you don't hurt their feelings.
say a friend has been working really hard on something. they are so very proud of it. they show it to you beaming and waiting for your equal excitement. you actually think it's crap. you have two options- tell this person the truth or tell a white lie so that you don't hurt their feelings.
and there are countless other examples. i just wonder if it is necessary to pamper people this much. even if you do like them. it does seem to give relationships an air of dishonesty. and assuming that the truth really doesn't end up hurting this person as much, i think that it often works both ways. i think that the liar feels a certain amount of relief at not having to admit the truth. it makes the liar not seem like the villain in the situation and allows her to get away with the way she really feels.
on the flip side of course, maybe it is just easier to avoid conflict and hurt and awkwardness and just keep white-lying. i mean who wants more stress in our already over-stressed lives? besides, if someone were to try this no-lie lifestyle, she would probably run into a whole bunch of problems. people do not like all the truth all the time.
is there a balance that could be found between the two? using white lies only if absolutely necessary? but when is 'absolutely necessary' and who decides? isn't everything relative here too?
what do i prefer? i'd like to think honesty. but i don't like having my feelings hurt. but i also think i could handle the truth. i think if i had to choose i'd go with honesty. i mean opinions are just opinions right? and i'd rather know the truth early and avoid a worse pain later. i wouldn't want to be deluded either. give it to me straight.
or is the truth overrated?
craving: the knowledge that there is leftover pumpkin pie in the fridge instead of the apple one that is actually there
currently listening to: my mom's soft snores and taio cruz's dynamite- the same line over and over in my head
p.s.- HAPPY 20th BIRDAY VEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! i love you like mexico, like water, breath and rain, like fat kid+ his cake, jared and subway, shane co. and his diamond showrooms in cupertino, san mateo and walnut creek, vince noir and his hair! | | |
| referring to the title- right now in life, i agree with it. but quand meme i am super happy.
we left laval this morning and it was pretty freaking cool. last night we dined with 5 families and the adults were all pretty old and they all drank a bit too much, which was considerably entertaining. so there was a lot of stagiares and dinner was fun due to the fact that i pretended to support germany. both teams are amazing but germany really played badly. dinner was salad and these strange potato, broccoli, carrot cutlet things and aubergines cooked with tomatoes till they looked like a thick sauce (yummy all the same); du rosé, du vin rouge, bread and 5 types of cheese- camembert, brie, chevre, something suisse, and my fave roquefort. then dessert was 3 different types of fruit tarts and caramel flan. so good.
the family i stayed with was once again filthy rich but this family didn't flaunt it at all. they had a huge house but it was messy and normal. and they had boys so i guess that contributes to it somehow lol. phillipe's wife is a jockey and she raises horses to race and sell and whatnot! their property had over 150 horses on it! in the morning we took a tour of it and there were foals! only 3 months old and about as tall as me! so cute! their mothers were there and they were bored so they came to see us and say hi and see if we came with treats, but the babies were scared! i stayed with this one horse's mom for a while and so finally her baby came up and though she wouldn't let me touch her, she wanted to sniff me and see what i tasted like! and so did her friends! so i got sniffed by several little horses, all my size and skinny and adorable.
then we headed to la baule and it was only a 2 hour bus ride. once we arrived i was SO excited! it's so strange bieng back and seeing everything again and all the same people who look the same but seem a bit different and remember me and everything. and the weather is so much nicer than last year and the food is too and i am not as timid as i was last year so it's just lovely being back.
this year the homestays are before the camp so i am right now with pierre and jacqueline certenais whom i adore. and raimy de la republique dominicaine. and this evening i took a nap! after which we went to a jazz concert near the beach and listened to some pretty good blues. the lead singer of the band is american but he has been living in france for the past 20 years, still has a very thick a,erican accent tho. then we walked along the beach and to my dismay the water was freeeeezing! but it was 9pm so im hoping it wont be so cold in the afternoon when i wanna swim. la baule is just as beautiful as i remember it. and this trip seems to be better already than last year- something i never thought possible.
craving: an end to my annoying morning colds
currently listening to: pierre et jacqueline discuss french tv and this ultra loud keyboard
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| so im in mans and i feel like blogging, for 2 reasons- one- i miss english and 2- i dont particularly enjoy the company of my host family.
jacques and annick morin are very sweet old retired people who live alone a good distance outside le mans in what they call a country village. they're lions club members so they're ridiculously wealthy, and it shows in their house- i get my own room and bathroom for example. they spent 8 years in bangalore yet we have nothing to talk about. my conversation starters have all failed, they seem to enjoy the silence since they really dont ask me or marie (the very sweet russian girl who is with me during this 2 day home stay) many questions at all.
i hate the keyboard here. it isn't qwerty and so im trying now to re-learn something that i already have a body-memory thing for.
today we visited a chateau- one of the loire valley chateaus and it was quite small. it's where the king of france invited leonardo da vinci to stay and work and so it is dedicated to da vinci and his work- notably his inventions. it had a giant park that we walked all over and picnic-ed in, after which we were told to stay off the lawns haha!
as i look around the room, these guys have so much indian stuff that they've brought over and none of it really goes together but it works for some reason. all the while i've been with them i've been wondering how they keep everything so neat and clean and organized and immaculate all the time! it looks like a show house all the time! even when we eat and even right after, when the dished are in the sink it looks so picturesque. it's kinda driving me insane, i feel like running around and messing things up a little. i guess they don't have much to do so they can clean all day long. together. how boring. another thing is that they wear their shoes in their house, well to me iit seems like they wake up, get dressed, and put their shoes on immediately and take them off only when they sleep (or so i assume), so what i want to know is how come the floor or carpet never gets dirty? and how can you cook in shoes? and what if it rains? and what about when you want to crack your toes?
today i paid 2 euro to do a paddle boat thingy in a teeny tiny lake. it reminded me or when we did the same thing in gokarna or wherever and how little that must have cost in comparison.
and now i can hear them talking about calling me for dinner since everything is so quiet, there is no privacy, so im gonna go eat and i think i will be back!
craving: aloo gobi and parata and pani puri and mirinda and maggi with onions
currently listening to: jacques and annick making small talk and marie's adorable giggle | | |
| cuz i wonder sometimes, about the outcome.
i have not blogged in ages. literally. hahahahahaha. isn't it annoying when people say 'literally' and it doesn't work? i get this little semi-nauseous flip thing in my stomach when that happens. it's kinda like a burp that's on its way up but gets swallowed.
this was a nice day. most of my days have been nice since i've been back in pleasanton. and don't want to remember the ones that weren't. so there.
i woke up later than i wanted to- 10:30 and worked out first thing. and since i woke up late i ended up working out in the sun. so to take advantage of the situation, i rolled my shorts up and didn't wear a t-shirt. it turns out that working out in the sun is pretty dangerous. especially after not having eaten or drunk anything. i was considerably more dizzy than i should be when exercising. and my back is more tan than my tummy. but i don't mind haha.
then i had to rush cuz i was meeting preetal. so i chugged some water, took the radio into the bathroom and blasted wild 949 while i had a freezing cold shower. the water temperature clearly didn't matter cuz i was still sweating when i toweled off. so i walked around naked trying to get my body to cool down and i picked what to wear and checked bart and my email. it's odd walking around naked. there wasn't much scope for it in toronto- i had a small room and everywhere else was definitely not private enough for nakedness. i haven't decided whether i enjoy it or not yet.
so i put a t-shirt on and went to clean the kitchen. a courtesy to el madre aka some serious sucking up. sometimes i feel like all i've done since i've been back is clean the kitchen. then i got dressed, took out the trash and left. walking to bart was a little icky. it was boiling hot and though there was a nice breeze, there wasn't enough shade. i've walked to bart several times since being home and i always see the exact same type of people along the way:
first: the young mom pushing a pram, probably on maternity leave, looking tired and bored and suspicious.
second: the hispanic chicos (or sometimes cholos) who look like they're ditching school to walk around pleasanton and maybe head to walmart to do some damage at the mcdonald's.
third: the very young indian moms wearing either salwars or strange baggy t-shirts and capris pushing a pram while their son or daughter either walks, bikes or scooters along or ahead. these women usually give me either worried or confused looks.
fourth: the group of cubicle friends on their way to lunch from either kaiser, oracle or one of the other IT offices by bart, walking cuz it's environmentally friendly and to stretch their legs. each group consists of at least 2 indians and only ever one caucasian along with a variety of east asians.
fifth: (my favorite) individuals of all ethnicities in business wear and walking shoes, power-walking up and down in front of their office buildings during their lunch hour. some of them even change before, and i know this cuz nobody goes to work in sweats or yoga pants.
sixth: south asian cabbies. today they were sitting on the sidewalk in a circle, discussing something. sometimes they're wiping their taxis or just loitering around. only once have they asked me if i needed a cab- the first time i walked to bart.
lunch with preethi at a dim sum place! yummmmmm! 3 types of wontons and steamed veggies and salad and jasmine tea. SO good. then vanilla fro-yo with mango, almonds, blueberries, and kiwi. we were topping happy. our sugar buzz took us to westfield where we got free neck massages at aveda from a sweet cosmetician-man. he told me my neck had more knots in it than all the people he had massaged that day, combined. scary. later, at home, i massaged mommy's neck trying to see if i could feel what a knot feels like and i couldn't. i didn't even know if her muscles were tight or not. anyway, we were waylaid by a sunglasses stand where preets purchased some saucy stunners- purple and light orange- from a stingy israeli who kept winking at us.
off to the body shop where we smelled everything and preets bought lots. i am a huge fan of their light lemon scent and of course the satsuma and grapefruit. and then we were pooped so pree had to head to the mission to get cake for a party. and i went to forever21 cuz i had 20 minutes to kill before catching my bart. and then i did a silly thing. i bought a gruesome floral tanktop for $17 without even trying it on. it seemed like a good idea at the time. when i got home and tried it on it was wrong in so many different ways. i blame the massage oil fumes from my neck from earlier. it smelled like a more expensive version of icyhot- one of my least favorite smells. so now i have to return this floral mess, somehow.
slept all the way home on bart. yucky soup for dinner. mango for dessert. ugly betty for entertainment. and then mangala athai skype-called and we talked about compromising in life for later happiness. then vee facebook popped and we were talking about ipod touches and blog names. then i went to get ready for bed and while brushing my teeth i felt the urge to blog. and here i am.
am i livin' it right?
craving: stella chaatman's sev poori and a jamba juice
currently listening to: the silence that is pleasanton at night.
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| every now and then i think this thing needs updating so that i can follow some sort of trend type thing in my life. cuz i'm almost positive i'm gonna get some sort of memory disorder as i grow older.
speaking of growing older, i'm now 21 and it sucks. i keep forgetting and then realizing that i'm a whole year older than i thought i was and this isn't fun. i dunno why, i wish it didn't bother me as much as it does, but it does. if i were some sort of accomplished bajillionaire, it wouldn't matter so much but seeing as how i haven't really done much yet, i feel old and useless.
so today i was sitting at the ICA talent night by myself cuz mumz ditched me to serve food, and whilst watching people on stage making absolute fools of themselves it got me wondering about confidence and self-esteem in general. what makes a person confident enough to stand on a stage and sing or dance when their level of talent may not be as high as the required 'perfect' that today's audiences crave? how do these people find the courage (balls, guts, nerve, etc) to put themselves in situations where people will most certainly be judging them in every possible way? my answer is a non-answer. i have no idea. i assume that once a person knows that they're the shit (shortest way i could think of putting it) then it must be easy to get up and prove it. most of the time, when a person thinks they're good at something, there is a way of verifying this for them either by having others agree or disagree after a performance of sorts. but what if this amateur actually sucks? is it better to tell them they're great and be nice or tell them the truth so they don't embarrass themselves later?
the way i see it, if someone who sucks at singing, for example, is told that they do have talent all their life, then they build up the confidence and self-esteem needed to be able to perform in front of a large group. this is both a good and a bad thing. on the one hand they have no stage fright or qualms about performing. on the other hand, they're most certainly going to be ridiculed for their mediocre or crappy performance. so id it better that someone who has a dream of becoming a singer is told early on that they suck so that they never build up that kind of confidence? or do you build up their confidence and never let them know they suck, until they find out some other way?
i don't know which is worse. but i think i'd go with the honesty thing, depending on how much i like the person in question. cuz if they aren't that important to me i have no problem lying to them to make them feel good. haha how awful right? not so much since half of daaron agrees with me!
it's the same with those awful reality shows like american idol and so you think you can dance. it's clear that some of the contestants have never been told that they have zero talent up until simon whatsit tells them. so are there people out there who live their whole lives never knowing they suck? and is this a good thing? and then there are those people who, once simon tells them that “If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.” and the like, they don't believe him. and they get angry. and defensive and very funny. and sad. so i guess that once you've been lied to about how awesome you are all your life, you believe it so much that nobody can tell you otherwise and soon you won't have any friends cuz they'll all think you're a major prick- worst case situation. lol. so is that a good thing?
there are those who profit from their ability to shatter glass or make people cringe, like william hung from way back when and so many others. more power to them? i wonder if i'd be able to make that much fun of myself and come out with an album that sells just because of how bad i am at singing.
makes you wonder what the appeal of karaoke is too. i love it, but i've never really wondered why. it's fun to sing, and with friends where you can be made fun of and enjoy it i guess it's ok. i know i like laughing at people when they sing badly and i enjoy listening to real talent too. maybe that's all it is. but probably not.
in other news, i'm the ultimate slacker and it feels so good. so i worry but not nearly enough. i'm blaming it on the caribbeans. (insert stupse)
hokay ima go shower now cuz i don't wanna be that canadian.
craving: rasam satham, potato curry and grand sweets gulab jamun
currently listening to: sutta na mila- zeest (i know, right?)
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